Feedback needed on Blog

[redcherry]

Dear Forumers,

I've started my personal blog for close to a year, most of my posts were in the recent months. I blog mainly on my daily life and occassionally some reflections.

The purpose of my blog is to share my experiences with others, who might find it entertaining and have hopefully have some take-away from the posts.

I would appreciate if you could take some time to visit my blog and let me know how I can further improve on my writing.

Blog address: http://redcherryjourney.blogspot.sg/

Thank you.

RedCherry

[Brad Dalton]

Would be far better on Genesis than Blogger.com.

There's a new tool you can use to move all your posts and images here http://core.trac.wordpress.org/attachment/ticket/4010/blogger-importer.zip

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Tutorials for StudioPress Themes.

[redcherry]

Hi Brad,

Thank you for the feedback on the usage of a different blog framework, as recommended I'll have a look at Genesis.

Would appreciate if you could also comment on my blog content and style of writing.

Regards,

RedCherry

[asoltys]

I will comment.  I read a post on your blog.  You are very transparent, meaning, you don't mind allowing other people to see what is in your heart.  That is cool and a bit refreshing because in a world where most people who are blogging are trying to make money, you seem to just be revealing yourself and searching for your place in the world.   There are some issues with your use of English.  You end a lot of sentences with a preposition.  That is not a good practice.  Occasionally, it is okay, but only if used to express the language of a character or something else like that.  I am also wondering about your culture.  I sense there is something that you are not saying that you could say to inform the reader of why you are struggling over the issues you are facing.  I like the conversational style of your writing, though.  If you were to structure it a little more, you would do yourself justice. 

For example:

I went to the cafe today and met with my friend.  We sat and talked for about and hour.  At one point I asked her, "What do you think about the weather?"

She replied, "I believe the weather is fine.  What is your conclusion?"

"Can't stand the heat!" I exclaimed.  "I wouldn't mind going on a trip somewhere with a milder climate."

_________

Dialogue should always be separated by paragraphs and be consistently understandable.  You will flow well in  your writing if you implement this idea. 

I hope I was helpful.  God bless and have a good day!

Alan

[redcherry]

Hi Alan,

Thank you so much for your feedback and compliments. I've re-read my posting and I do agree that sentences could have been better by removing the prepositions at the end. The comment on the structuring the conversation was apt, I felt like I was taking a jerky car ride while I was reading my sentences, yet I couldn't really figure out the actual problem till I saw how you flowed the sentence in the example given. I'm taking this feedback for my future posts while keeping this post intact to serve as a reminder for structuring my sentences.

You were right on the part about not explaining further on the issues that I faced, I'm still trying to find a diplomatic way to vent my frustrations or issues without offending any readers, I'll never know when my bosses will chance upon those posts that I've made. The irony is that  I would still like to make the blog public so that people can enjoy reading about my life.

I would appreciate if you could still pop by my blog occassionally, to give me pointers so that I can write better, and make the reading more pleasurable for my readers.

RedCherry

[Author]

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